Thursday, July 2, 2009

things I wonder

do people besides me stay up at night wondering where Abraham Lincoln was from?
I mean I've heard all that log cabin nonsense, but that's not really specific. And Lincoln, Nebraska, what about that?
Turns out he's from Kentucky. Seems like they could name a measly city after him, or at least a truck stop. People from Kentucky must be racist. (Note: I don't know anyone from Kentucky nor can I pass judgment on them.) But really, they probably are.

Why is cutting your hair like losing a limb? Why is there a B in limb? It's the stupid French, and all their ridiculous silent letters. (Note: I feel totally at liberty to pass judgment on the French because without knowing any I know they are silly people.) Wouldn't it be awful in it actually was like losing a limb? Also, apparently wouldn't is not a word. It is where I'm from. We also end our sentences in prepositions.

Why do we spend so much time in grade school learning how to spell when the computer will just do it for us? My favorite thing is when it automatically fixes the word for me. That way I don't have to be able to correctly spell anything, just be in the general ballpark. Will spellchecker be the end of spelling bees? Oh so spellchecker is word but wouldn't isn't? Neither is isn't. Firefox should embrace contractions.

Will anyone read this? This is actually the most relevant question I've asked so far. I know that everything I say is worth reading, but will anyone be lucky enough to stumble upon this goldmine of knowledge and insight? I mean I know I'm probably the funniest/smartest/sexiest person I know but how do I spread the word to those who believe they are funnier/smarter/sexier than me?

If there is a legal pad... is there an illegal pad?

Why are there so many ways to spell there/their/they're? No wonder most Americans talk like the English language being put through a meat grinder.

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